Opinion: Breaking the Cycle of Female Rivalry - Aroush Ahmad

Girlhood. Sleepovers, painting each others’ nails, braiding your best friend’s hair, gossiping. Gossiping? “What was she wearing? Who let her leave her house like that?” and, “I cannot believe he’s dating HER. She isn’t even pretty.” Since the beginning of time, society has pitted women against each other from the start of girlhood. Due to its unrealistic beauty standards, gender stereotypes, and societal expectations, there is a constant pressure to be the best, even when it is physically out of reach. These unfortunate circumstances perpetuate comparison, competition, and blatant jealousy between young girls and women, ultimately hindering the fight for feminism.

While apprehending female rivalry, it is imperative to acknowledge its roots. It is common knowledge that in earlier times in history, there was great emphasis on women finding suitable partners for marriage. A literature review by Tracy Vaillancourt finds that “...females have a particular proclivity for using indirect aggression, which is typically directed at other females.” This particular aggression was found to be directed more frequently at females who appear more attractive and are available. Therefore, while one might be upset because a guy has chosen another girl over them, they are more likely to take out their melancholia on the girl, even if she has not done anything to them. This concept has been exemplified by media portrayals of women as competitors in countless “chick flicks” such as Mean Girls (2004) and The Layover (2017). Similarly, in each movie, there are common realizations of harmful and useless perpetuations of female rivalry, especially over romantic partners.

In modern times, female rivalry can happen in even primitive settings, such as the workforce. A Harvard Business Review article by Mikaela Kinner summarizes, “Sexism in the workplace, for example, may heighten competition among women to fight for positions or opportunities that are more readily available to men.” While in modern times, the workforce puts on a facade of there being irrefutable gender equality, it is undeniable that we are far from it. There is a precept of diversity amongst many big companies, letting them leave enough room for “one seat at the table” to snag their diversity kudos. While it leaves room for “healthy competition,” it instills a toxic mindset of a scarcity of spots for women, having women once again fighting amongst themselves.

Instead of targeting internalized anger and envy at innocent nonparticipants, girls and women alike should attempt to challenge these negative narratives about women. Society should promote a sisterhood consisting of celebrating each other’s achievements and offers of support and encouragement, not shallow gossiping. With sisterly love, it is also imperative to recognize and emphasize the importance of self-love and self-confidence. Not being chosen as a romantic partner or for a job position does not undermine a woman’s self-worth or value. Inversely, being chosen as a romantic partner or job position does not warrant others undermining or belittling your successes.

By understanding the root causes of female rivalry and taking proactive steps to break the cycle, we can create a world where women support and uplift each other. Ending female rivalry is not only beneficial for individual women but also for society as a whole. Let us work together to foster a culture of sisterhood, empowerment, and equality so girlhood and “girl-talk” alike can defeat bleak and conniving allegations and be a culture of solely uplifting one another.

Works Cited

Do Human Females Use Indirect Aggression as an Intrasexual Competition ..., royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rstb.2013.0080. Accessed 8 Sept. 2023.

Gordon, Emily V. “Why Women Compete with Each Other.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 31 Oct. 2015, www.nytimes.com/2015/11/01/opinion/sunday/why-women-compete-with-each-other.html. Accessed 8 Sept. 2023.

“It’s Time to Break the Cycle of Female Rivalry.” Harvard Business Review, 11 Oct. 2021, hbr.org/2020/04/its-time-to-break-the-cycle-of-female-rivalry. Accessed 8 Sept. 2023.

Lovering, Nancy. “Do Women Compete with Each Other? Competition among Women.” Psych Central, Psych Central, 6 Oct. 2022, psychcentral.com/relationships/competition-among-women. Accessed 8 Sept. 2023.